Book Excerpt · Divorce & Separation: The Sh*t Nobody Tells You

Why fighting over the Air Fryer ends up costing R40,000.

By Stavros Gazis · Principal Mediator & Author

When a marriage or long-term partnership breaks down, the arguments that burn through tens of thousands of Rands in legal fees are almost never about the law. They are about hurt, pride, and the feeling that the other person is getting away with something.

Once two opposing litigation attorneys start exchanging formal letters at R3,500+ an hour each over household appliances, weekend pickup times, or who keeps the dog, a R2,500 kitchen appliance quickly generates R40,000 in combined legal correspondence—money that comes directly out of your children's school fees or your post-divorce deposit.

In court, nobody wins the Air Fryer. Two attorneys each buy a new kitchen, and both parents walk out poorer and angrier than when they arrived.

In mediation, we separate emotional score-settling from the financial and parenting decisions that actually matter—settling the entire parenting plan and division of assets in a few calm, structured hours at R475 per party per hour, with no VAT charged.